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Stella Patchouli

     
     Excerpt from a chapter of Stella's Memoir
     THE RUNAWAY DOLL (in Glass Slippers)
A Life
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Paperback:  out soon!

Elvis' half-brothers, Dave, Ricky, and Billy Stanley, they all found life after Elvis. Ricky is a man of God now, with 2 kings guiding him, the Lord and Elvis, according to him.

Honestly, I never understood why Elvis didn’t include his stepbrothers in his will… He was in the habit to give away diamond rings and all kinds of gifts to total strangers, playboy bunnies and all…and nothing for his brothers…? Maybe is the ‘conservatives’ way of dealing with their money!


George and Barbara Klein divorced shortly after Elvis’ death. The string that had kept them together was broken on August 16, 1977.


Sergio Leone called me from Paris one night. He told me he was taking the next morning flight to Hollywood to make his “biggest movie ever”, and would like to have lunch with me as we did whenever in the same town.

He never made it to the airport. He died that night from an apparent heart attack, I’m told. In the Seventies, during his Spaghetti Western era, some even laughed at his movies by calling him an amateur - a clown who tries to clone American art of film making and - how dare he, blah blah.

How ironic that now those same American filmmakers embrace him as a genius, comparing his work to that of John Ford’s masterpieces.


Roman Polanskihis macabre fate never left him. I guess he has learned to live with it by now…and probably will take his sacred secrets to his grave.

He married a beautiful French actress, and named their son - Elvis!

No, no, I wasn’t invited to the wedding!


One thing that’s remained an enigma in my mind throughout the years is what Maurice Azoulay revealed to me one day while I was holding a bag of oranges in my arms to go visit Polanski who was out on bail and staying at Maurice’s house in Beverly Hills.


A couple of years earlier, Polanski had introduced me to the French-Moroccan-American hairstylist, and we became real good friends. We were never lovers, Maurice and I…just best friends.


With the mega success of the movie “Shampoo” a few years earlier, starring one of Polanski’s closest friends and my one-night stand lover, handsome movie mega star Warren Beatty, hairstylists had become basically the new kids in town, that era’s ‘reality stars’ with their own ultra-chic beauty barns, mansions, and many latest model expensive cars…and women were wild about them, especially actresses, the innocent looking famous ones that loved to get banged by their personal chef, or their hairdresser, or maybe both.


The Touch-me, Feed-me, Fuck-me era of the rich and famous women of Hollywood.

All that hair-glam and fame-fanfare appeared strange to me since in Paris, hairstylist were service-people, the ones we tipped, and therefore not really en vogue.


I was willing to become a ‘service-person’ and work with Maurice as a hairstylist since by then I was already a licensed cosmetologist, but I didn’t have my Green Card, yet, and Maurice just wouldn’t hire anyone without at least a work permit. Anyway, so when Maurice came to pick me up in his brand new Rolls Royce to go visit Polanski who was out on bail and staying at Maurice’s house, I packed a dozen oranges in a paper bag and wrapped a bow around it – as they do in France when visiting jailbirds.


"I can't believe he's accused of such a heinous crime, statutory rape," I said to Maurice on our way to his house.


"You know, the girl (13 year) was with another guy the night before…before she was with Polanski," he said, and then told me a bit about the case and made me promise to never mention it to anyone.


"She's been the night before with Warren Beatty, you know, and had sex with him."


“So how come Warren is not charged with the same crime as Polanski is and jailed for statutory rape, too?” I asked, confused. Then I thought, oh well, these guys always ‘share’ their girls, don’t they? In a way, I truly couldn’t stomach the gravity of the situation...


I also thought of that night where Warren showed at my door when staying at the Beverly Wilshire; the night Jolie and I had just come back from Disneyland, and Warren knocked on my door, I opened, and told him that I wasn’t willing to let him in; that I was tired and sweaty, and he put his foot in the door opening or whatever it’s called, blocking me from shutting my door close, and wouldn’t go away until I let him in…He was persistent, wasn’t he? I thought.


Frankly, even if so young, in my early 20s, I still found it disgusting for these famous men to think they can have any girl they want…and do get the ones they want, don’t’ they, ouch?! Their lifestyle allows them to be vain, cruel, and selfish. Their mirror is their best friend, their bank account their best confidant. At their peak, they work a few weeks, make millions of dollars, go to glamorous parties, and women - they just throw themselves at their feet…


They consider getting a new pussy like a soldier receiving a medal of honor…glorification of fornication!


So, when I asked Maurice how come Warren wasn’t accused of that crime, Maurice shook his head and went on telling me the bizarre story about what really had happened, and why Warren Beatty would never be charged with the same crime as Roman Polanski was.


It turned my stomach upside down. It was about a ransom that Warren had paid to the girl’s mother, but Roman Polanski had refused to pay, which I rather not get into details of it all…but it was poignant to hear Maurice repeating what Polanski apparently had told the girl’s mother.


He had told the mother, according to Maurice, that he, Roman Polanski, was the wrong guy to be blackmailed; that he had lost his parents in concentration camps…

With other words, I guess he wanted to say that he’s not gonna pay for silence, for whatever reason…He also had told the mother, “I thought your daughter was eighteen years old.”

I considered Polanski a close friend since he and Jean-Pierre Rassam were friends and partners, and since I dated him on and off, now and then, for four or more years…and now to judge him is really the hardest thing to do, especially in a situation where I personally wasn’t a witness.


Maurice was way too close to Polanski, Warren Beatty, and me…After all, Polanski was staying at Maurice’s house while awaiting sentencing…


Maurice was a certified confidant aside being the most sought-after hairstylist in Beverly Hills, which meant that Hollywood’s Who’s Who were his clients…He would never take a chance and gossip about something that could ruin his business. The situation was too dangerous for Maurice to come up with a lie, accusing a mega star, a powerful Hollywood and political player such as Warren Beatty by placing him amidst this scandal…


And the girl and her mother – I never met them; never witnessed anything...

In all those years, Roman Polanski talked only once to me about his wife, Sharon Tate, and some of his closest friends, murders by the Charles Manson family members.

It was at the time when I was so loaded on Quaaludes and whiskey; he was worried about my health and future. I had told him, “I knock myself out because of my visa and work situation. I am hopelessly lost…”, and he told me this:


“Even when all that with Sharon (Tate) happened, I didn’t do what you’re doing to yourself. Go back to Paris. You’re a star over there in France. Here, you won’t make it. You’re too naïve…Go back to Paris!”


I can’t recall ever seeing him wasted on drugs, or ever giving me any drugs, pills, or anything. He loved to drink a cognac after dinner, but was always upset when seeing someone like JP, or me, on drugs…


So, when all that scandal happened about that 13 year old girl, and that he was on drugs, and had given her drugs…I just wondered if any of that was true at all because the Roman Polanski I knew was not the one described by the media here in America.

One more thing: Polanski was not a big dick Latin-lover style of a man. He was not a sex-crazed individual. He was never pushy when it came to romance, or sex…


On the other hand, Warren Beatty was all that.


But I did know how cheap Polanski was! He never sent me flowers or gifts for my birthday or during holidays…very, very cheap!


Anyway, I chose to believe Maurice, yet I said, "You're making it all up!"


He looked at me perplexed, and said, "Stella, this is not something to joke about.”


Of cours it wasn't, I thought.


Arriving at Maurice's house, Polanski looked happy being amongst a handful of his ‘close friends’ - Maurice's Italian wife, and a Japanese woman introduced to me by Polanski as a, "Marlon Brando girlfriend", while three Mariachis in a trance kept singing their hearts out…


I gave him the bag of oranges, which was meant to be something like a prank because, somehow, I wanted to believe that he was innocent.


He laughed and said, "Don’t worry, they won’t lock me up!”


He sure didn’t look worrisome to me. Maybe he was still in a shock, not realizing the severity of it all.


“How do you know for sure?” I asked, worried

.

“I’ll show you a picture of her. She looks like - 18…I thought she was. I honestly did.” He then added, “You know, Stella, by now you’re apparently too old for me, ha ha ha!”


 I was in my mid-twenties, and it took me a while to get the joke – that by now rumor has it that he only liked very young teenagers – as the press described him to be. He didn’t need to apologize to me, but his demeanor was just that. He also never showed me any pictures of that girl he allegedly had raped - the talk of town, or rather, the world.


I wanted to ask him about Warren Beatty and the girl, and the story Maurice had told me earlier in his car about the ransom money, but I didn't. I believed that the situation was not one of those where we could just talk about things the way we used to - before misery had knocked on his door, again...


Polanski would never ‘tell’ on his best friend anyway, even if I had asked him right there and then, and he probably intends to take all those sacred secrets to his grave…


Maurice’s tale pretty much described Polanski’s character and values, as I had learned to know, and how he would’ve handled a situation as the alleged rape accusation and stuff. He had refused to be black-mailed, and had given a very powerful explanation to that mother as why he wouldn’t give her the money, one-hundred-thousand dollars - an amount that was a big chunk in the late 1970s.


It wasn't my style to snoop on my friends. After all, America was a nation of laws and the best of the best when it came to solving a crime as such.


Then again - it would be unfair to hold back secrets that others have imposed upon me. In AA, Alcoholic Anonymous, we learn that, “We are as sick as our secrets.” Some I let-go, but some just keep coming back, nagging at my brain, like this one…Maybe I should just pray about it and it’ll go away, eventually…


I remember another incident…I just can’t recall if it was before or after Polanski went to jail, or after he was out on bail…He invited me to a party in Beverly Hills at Bob Rafelson’s house. Rafelson had produced a movie with Jack Nicholson called, Five Easy Pieces…or something like that.…


The house was rather small for Beverly Hills standards, surely not a mansion. I think it was a one story house…and about 30 or 40 people had attended…

So,, holding my scotch on the rocks firmly in my hand, I decided to take a walk in that small garden and check out the plants and flowers…and, oh, here comes Jack Nicholson walking through the green lawn toward me. Well, he was probably there to join Polanski, I thought.


“Hi, Jack!” I said, and Jack said, “Hi!” -And if anyone on earth wants to know how I did the things I did, the following is one of the best examples of my naiveté – not realizing the consequences of my actions.


Yeah, to me, it was all just a joke.


Nothing in life could be that serious, right?


Here’s what I said to Jack Nicholson:

“Hey, Jack, do you know Roman is inside, waiting for you?” I pointed at the house.


Jack suddenly stopped walking. He looked at me surprised, and said:

 “So?”


“Well, let me warn you. He just told me he’s mad at you…didn’t tell me why…that if he sees you walking through that door, he’ll punch you! That’s how mad he is,” I said with a serious tone of voice, hoping Jack would crack up in laughter and move on.


I totally wasn’t thinking about the alleged rape that apparently had taken place not long ago in Jack’s house. I already was buzzed with a few double vodkas or whiskey on the rocks, and wasn’t thinking…just was not thinking.


“Are you serious?” Jack asked.


Well, Smiling Jack-ass and I, we’ve had a ‘quickie’ one day, as mentioned earlier, and he knew I was Jean-Pierre Rassam’s closest friend – as close as an actor/movie star can get with a easy-money film producer - and that I was also a very close friend and part-time girlfriend of Polanski…


So, he believed me, when I said:


“Yeah…oh, boy, he’s mad as hell.”


“Are you serious?” Jack said again, standing there, his eyes crossed more than ever I can remember, and suddenly, he turned around and walked back to his car, so fast, I think he actually ran for his life.


Wow! What was that all about, I wondered?


How come Jack didn’t get the joke? I was known to be a jokester at times. So, how come he didn’t investigate, or ask some other person if Polanski truly was waiting for him in that house, mad as hell, ready to break his bones …?


Jack just took my word for it. Why? I thought that was very odd.


I didn’t think much about it, and went back to the house and Polanski walked by me…and I said:

“Jack Nicholson just walked in, and I told him you were here, and he said, Oh, No! -and made a U-ee, and…he left. He kinda ran.”


What U-ee? What do you mean he made a U-ee?” Polanski asked, baffled.


“Yeah, you know, he turned on his heel…a U-turn. He’s gone!”


Polanski looked a bit nervous…shook his head as if pondering. He, too, believed me. Again, not for a minute I thought of any consequence of my action…I had a good belly-laugh, and that’s all it mattered to me…since I didn’t know anything about anything that might have been right or wrong between Polanski and Nicholson.

Honestly, I still don’t know why Jack got scared and ran away…I never asked anyone much about any of their business. I still don’t.


If they, Polanski and Nicholson, ever read this Memoir here, it would be the first time they may realize what really had happened that night at Bob Rafelson’s house…and them knowing me, I hope they won’t get mad at me, since they always thought of me as being a doll…a doll…a pretty, self-supporting, Runaway Doll in glass slippers.


 After Polanski left, or rather fled the US for France, some tabloid contacted me, sending their guys to get an interview with me to talk about Roman Polanski and his rape case. I refused. 

They then wanted to talk about - me having wild sex with Elvis Presley! I had to pass on that one, too!



Eccerpt from Doll... (Buck Henry, Hugh Hefner pics from Google Image/internet)

....

Anyway, one night my writer-director-actor-homophobic friend, Buck Henry, whom I had met through JP at the Cannes film festival, took me to Hugh Hefner’s Playboy mansion. Due to “security reasons” Jolie couldn’t come with us, Buck said.

At the mansion the party was sumptuous and almost harem-style. I really couldn’t tell which girl was which. They all looked alike: tall, skinny long legs, blonde hair, snow-white teeth, silicone tits…and - half-naked!

The buffet was the greatest and the movie ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ scared the shit out of me - especially when Buck said, “It’s a true story. It happened a few years ago somewhere in Texas.”

We were the only audience watching the movie at Hef’s screening room, so we chatted and Buck lit up a cigarette, looked around for an ashtray, didn't see one…so he bent over and put the cigarette out on the obviously brand new, white, or light cream carpet…looked at me and smiled.

 I thought that was weird - burning a hole with his cigarette in someone's brand new carpet! But Buck was a comedian and perhaps he found humor in doing things that only a naughty teenager might do.

Buck took me back to my hotel. I got my keys from the concierge and we waited for the elevator. He just wanted to make sure I was safe; wanted to make sure JP knew I was safe.


Buck always said I made him laugh, so I was telling him some stupid joke when the elevator door opened and Polanski faced us and immediately started screaming at me about - how rude of me to bug him all day long yesterday about wanting to go to a party and now that he’d finally arranged one for tonight, a party that is, with Warren [Beatty], Franco [Nero] and all his best friends – I never even bothered to show! He completely ignored Buck’s presence standing next to me, holding my hand. I had no idea what he was talking. I didn’t remember, none of it...I didn’t care.

“You probably got drunk and forgot all about it,” he affirmed, and then hopped away in his high-heeled booties, his hair jiggling like jelly - up-down, up-down.


I don’t know why but Buck looked scared as hell. Fear of what - I couldn’t tell. But I sure could smell it. Maybe it was Polanski’s fumes of wrath infiltrating the stuffy hallway. He and I had lunch the day before at a deli in Beverly Hills where he had some purple soup called Borscht!

Arriving at my room I invited Buck to come in, but he said it's getting late and he needed to finish some script he was reading and evaluating for some studio.


"Sorry about Polanski acting out like that...I'm sure his emotions are unbalanced, you know, because of what happened to him...his wife and child...his friends being murdered by that evil man’s followers, Charlie Manson…"


Buck shook his head. "Oh, come on, Stella, he was glad it happened...Look at all the publicity he got. All the money in the world couldn’t buy that kind of media hype. By now he’s the most famous person in the industry."


For a moment I wasn't sure if Buck was joking or not, again, since he was a comedian. Perplexed, I said, "You can't be serious, Buck. The most heinous crime of the century, for heavens--"

"Hollywood, Stella, Hollywood! That's how this town works. The only thing that matters, more than anything, is one's popularity. Fame, remaining on top…being the talk of the town…that’s all it matters."


I knew I'll never totally understand what Buck really meant. Did he mean that Polanski didn't care, or was he trying to tell me how Hollywood functions; that there might be folks out there in Hollywood believing in the unthinkable...

Not sure what he meant...

What kind of a business was that – the Hollywood industry…?

I got to take his word for it maybe with a grain of salt, I thought.


Anyway, Jolie, a gambler by nature, wanted us to leave California for Las Vegas, “just for one night.” I wanted to visit San Francisco just for a day before taking off for New York to end our vacation. We came to the fair conclusion to spend a night in Vegas and an entire day in Frisco – safe and predictable, and then, maybe go to New York for a few days before going back to Paris…summing up to a real nice vacation.


(for my Excerpt Readers here on my Website...following start a chapter about how I met Elvis Presley in Vegas...Ironically, he died almost to the day and hours of when I met him exactly 24 months prior to his death...strange, huh?)

 

The HEARTBREAK HOTEL in Las Vegas

 

August 17, 1975

Jolie and I embarked on a plane to Las Vegas, Nevada, USA.

"This one-night trip was a waste of our time and money," I told her. "You’ll regret it no later than tomorrow when all your money is lost at the casino," I predicted.

I'm a NYMPHO...?!!!

Paris - May, 1975

The phone was ringing non-stop since early that morning at 16, Ave. Montaigne. I got under my bed covers and put two pillows over my head. I knew it was Jacques, wondering why I hadn’t shown at the recording studios.

He’d hired the entire London Symphony Orchestra and recorded my background music, all expenses financed by Tintin. All I had to do was to go put down my voice on a track or two and, bingo! A pop star, yours truly would be born in a jiffy.

About a year earlier while vacationing at the French Riviera, Tintin and his girlfriend, my co-worker and best friend, Lova Moor, were approached by a beach bum, a young hobo named Jacques Morali.

His earthly assets consisted merely of a backpack and a demo tape of some songs he’d written and composed with his voice, imitating musical instruments, lala-dee and lala-da, because he couldn’t afford studio demos. That kind of gutsy talent and sheer-will got Tintin’s attention.

Jacques managed to talk the Untouchable into giving him a chance to compose a melody or two for our show at Le Crazy Horse.

Tintin bought an extra plane ticket to Paris for the Fairy in a bottle, and next thing we knew, he was creating original music for our chorus-line. At first, I didn’t like him. He appeared to be so very pushy, demanding acceptance.

I also didn’t care much about his music.

It was unintelligent and unsophisticated.

When I asked him how he categorized his style, he simply said:

 “Disco music!”

He moved-in with me for a while until he could find a place of his own. I can’t recall how he talked me into it but sure enough one night he was in my bed, nibbling on my ear, drenching it with his saliva, humming his songs, asking me to compliment him for being a genius.

He could effortlessly sell ice to Eskimos and sandcastles to Egyptians - if he wanted. He was a first class hustler.

My sole consolation was that he was totally gay and I never had to worry about him molesting me or checking out my butt close-up while I was deep asleep. However, I had to re-assure myself.

 “Are you sure you won’t get a hard-on watching me walk around the house butt-naked?”

“Ma Cherie, I’d rather stir-fry my dick in a pan than to stick it in a vagina!” He’d go on kidding around saying things like, “But you’re not a woman. You are every gay man’s fantasy. I must have you because I want to be you!”

He finally moved into an empty single studio apartment. But his sorry situation didn’t last long.

He’d gained Tintin’s trust, and soon, he had him under his thumb; had him finance all the demo tapes he needed including all expenses paid for a trip to l’Amerique!

“I will conquer America with my music and you will be my star,” the Crazy Boy said to the Crazy Girl. “In order to make it in America, you got to speak English. So, stop dreaming.”

Meanwhile, secretly, I’d been negotiating a recording deal with a major French label, hoping to donate my G-string to the Louvre museum.

I was just sick and tired of working every night, rehearsing every day, naked all the time, with no future in sight to make a living other than in the nude. I didn't want any children; didn't want to get married; didn't have any family members to lean on...and I just didn't know how since I totally depended on my job at the Crazy Horse for my work permit in France...

So, becoming a rock or a pop star was not too farfetched since I loved music, and knew all about the business part of it...after all,

I was briefly engaged to France’s John Lennon, Michel Polnareff, and also dated Johnny Hallyday, the French Elvis...dated them both simultaneously!

And the record label that wanted to sign me was none other than AZ that also had Michel Polnareff was under contract.

Somehow, Jacques found out about it.

Due to extravagant publicity I’d gotten in the last few years, my presence had added an extra touch of prestige to the most famous nightclub in the world. Therefore, losing me meant a great loss, I assumed!

Jacques came up with a zany plot and convinced Tintin to invest in a record for me, written and produced by none other than - Jacques!

But that wasn’t exactly how I foresaw my future. I wanted to free myself from bondage of Le Crazy.

As a Libra, I couldn’t possibly handle two control freaks running my life. I had a soul of a gypsy and the urge of a vanguard conqueror…

So, I was thinking all possible situations over, and trying to figure out how to manage my next step.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I yelled while walking the hallway toward the door.

“Open the door! It’s Jacques!”

“You, crazy lunatic, you! It’s the middle of the night. What do you want from me?”

“It’s eleven o’clock in the morning. Why don’t you answer the phone? We’ve spent fifty thousand bucks on your record. You must put your voice down today—“

“I’m not doing it. Go away.”

“We’ll go to America together, ma Cherie, with a hit record under our arms…your contract is ready for you to sign. Soon you’ll be driving your own Roll’ Ross (Rolls Royce)! I promise,” he yelled through the keyhole, trying not to disturb my high-class neighbors, which included Greek tycoon Niarchos' wife (I think she ended up committing suicide in that same apartment), Madam Sukarno the whore, and Princess Ashraf, the twin sister of the Emperor of Iran, the Shah and all her under-age boyfriends, and a bunch of other weirdoes, too!

“A star shouldn’t have a binding engagement to a nude show,” I justified my reasoning.

“Ma Cherie, Tintin is your mentor. He made you all that you are today—“

“I’m nobody, you hear me, a-nobody!”     

His voice got gentler.

“You won’t survive without us backing you. The day you leave us is the day your name will be forgotten by everyone. Then you’ll have to go dancing in some cheap strip joint at Place Pigalle for twenty bucks a night…or at the old Moulin Rouge – as a midget. Is that where you want to end up instead of becoming a disco-star in America? My vision for your career is so avant-garde...it's okay to sing in the nude...soon everyone else will emulate you. Don’t you get it?” he said, as if blowing his last breath into the keyhole.

“I don’t like your lyrics. ‘I’m a nymphomaniac; I need a man, a man’…! What will my father think if he ever heard his baby-daughter sing such a sexually provocative song...? Oh, he’ll kill himself for sure. Good night, Jacques!” I went back to bed.

I knew if I let him in I would be powerless.

He’d be all over me, playing the helpless little boy needing love and affection.

 I had to avoid being face to face with him.

I shoved earplugs in my ears and tried to fall asleep.

I woke up around five in the afternoon.

His banging had diminished to a knock every other minute.

I could hear him weep.

What was I to do?

I leaned against the only poster on my wall - Elvis Presley, from his 1968 TV show wearing all black leather.

It clashed with my Louis XIV furniture, but to me, it represented a piece of my soul - rock ‘n’ roll, my savior.

Hearing Jacques sob didn’t distress me much. I knew he’d get over our battle of wills.

He wanted to dress me all in black leather, my breasts exposed, cracking up a whip while singing “I’m a nymphomaniac!”…I didn’t mind the outfit nor did I mind showing off my pretty pink nipples on an album cover. The exploit of sex appeal as means of artistic expression was perfectly acceptable to me.

On the other hand, pornographic innuendos in art, dance, lyrics and so forth made my blood boil over.

About a year earlier at the Cannes Film Festival a porn filmmaker approached me to do a movie by offering me a million dollars. I felt so insulted; I almost poked my nails in to his ugly snake eyes.

The porn brute made me aware of those folks out there who couldn’t differentiate artistic sensuality from pornography.

Then I started thinking:

Who the hell set the standards for morality, respect, and honor?

I got cold feet and worried that one day I, too, might lose touch with my own established principles, and not distinguish beauty from repulsive, graciousness from offensiveness, and lose touch with the essence of respect, honor, and truth.

So, I wasn’t willing to go to any length to be famous for the sake of fame. I found it appealing not to sell out and to have the guts to stay moral – even if only on borderline…

I noticed a piece of paper gliding from under my door.

A few seconds later I heard the elevator door shut.

The note read:

“I will never forgive you as long as I live” - Jacques.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

My feet touching the marble floor felt cold as ice. Despite my cold feet I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling as if leaning against someone.

I turned and kissed Elvis’ face on the poster smiling back at me.

I was still the little six-year-old lonely girl comforted by instant support and affection from a “friend” that was glued firmly on my wall, never abandoning me…

9:00 pm - I heard my alarm clock go off. It was time for me to walk across the street, punch-in the clock and report to work.

9:15 pm - I still had a chance to make the show. I started biting on my nails. For the first time in my life I’d had the same apartment and phone number. My life had been somewhat worry-free for almost six years. It’d been like a nocturnal party without a last-call…one that never seemed to end unless I wanted it to end –now?

9:30 pm - Thoughts were spinning in my head like a spider in its web: Now that I‘d let down Jacques, I’ll have to let go of Tintin, too. Shall I surrender? I’ve nothing to lose but - everything!

10:00 pm - I crawled back into my bed and pulled the covers over my head. I just had quit working as a showgirl, or rather “the highest paid dancer in France”.

 It had taken me ten long years to get there. It took a walk in the hallway to stop the beat.

I was almost 24 years young without a clue about what was to come in the next few weeks or so – destination unknown